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Xmas = Melancholy

christmas. the most wonderful time of year, right? well to be honest, that has not always been the case for me. christmas has been a time to choose between my several families since i have divorced parents. it was never a tradition to me. there have been happy moments but also a lot of stress. its not an unusual thing nowadays either, to have divorced parents i mean. a lot of times i'm okay with it. but i'm guessing it has contributed to me becoming a not so huge fan of holidays. like the day that we are all supposed to be, act and feel in a certain way. expectations.

there are simply too many things in reality that are not perfect about christmas. the fact that the focus is on the core family, flawless relationships and tradition. imagine just how many people there are out there that doesn't get to do or have that in their lives even if they wanted to. people tell me that i should't excuse my privilege and i get the point. but i can't help thinking about it. maybe you can relate.

don't get me wrong though. there are a lot of things that are beautiful about christmas time. i do love that time before and after the holidays when the people around me are excited, enlightened and relaxed. calm humans enjoying pouring hot tea in front of a fireplace getting into that cosy mood. thats the exact thing i love. that real kind of joy and calm. and that is the exact mood i wanted to share with you in my latest youtube video 'xmas lofi'.

the average christmas music is way to exaggerated, cheesy and fake to me. it just doesn't fit with my feelings towards christmas. melancholy is one of my favourite words and sums it up perfectly to me. christmas its not cheerful, happy and perfect. its a lot of things. it can be stressful, expensive and exclusive but it can also be warm, cosy and hopeful. surely there are people around me that really have a beautiful relationship to it and i'm genuinely happy for them and respect that. for me, christmas will be a time of melancholy.

please let me know if you can relate to this :)

you find the video here:




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